Christmas in Chester

Chester is the largest city in the Cheshire area of England, lying close to the border with Wales and located on the banks of the River Dee.   It is one of the best preserved walled cities in the United Kingdom and has a beautiful old world feel to it.   

Chester is also well known for its wonderful Christmas festivities and market, which runs from mid November until the 20^th Dec around the Town Hall Square.   There are rows of beautiful little chalets, offering food, drinks, and gifts and, if last year is anything to go by, the chance to have a go at holding birds of prey.    I didn’t, in case you’re wondering, but there was no shortage of visitors who did.  

Do you want to hold me?  No? What's wrong with you? 

In 2015, the market returns with even more sparkling lights, activities and shopping than I can realistically cope with in just one day.   Luckily, the market runs 7 days a week, with late night shopping on a Thursday.  It is also located close to the main shopping mall, Grosvenor, so there are lots of gift options for all those awkward to buy for people in your life.   

The Saturnalia & Winter Watch Parade is being held on the 17^th December, starting at 7pm outside the Town Hall in the city centre, and consisting of a torch light parade, led by Romans (who are possibly not *actually* Roman) marching up the street to honour the traditional celebrations for the feast of Saturn.    I have no idea what that is, but it sounds like it might be quite the spectacle.   Also: togas.     

Combined with the Saturnalia parade, there is also the Winter Watch event, which brings together the local communities to continue the long held tradition where city leaders used to hand over their keys to the city watch and rejoice in the Winter Solstice.  

A seriously beautiful Cathedral with equally awesome coffee...

Close to the main action is Chester Cathedral, which is absolutely stunning.   It is free to enter and, around the Christmas season, has its own programme of events to tie in with the rest of the city.    They have an annual Christmas Tree Festival, where you can walk freely around the cloisters and look at all the wonderfully decorated trees.   The trees themselves  represent different community groups and organisations, as well as local schools, etc.    It is clear just how much work goes into pulling them together and they really are fantastic.   The Festival runs from Nov 28^th through to Jan 3^rd.   

The Cathedral also has a fantastic tea room, with massively high ceilings (obviously…) and warm, friendly staff.    If you’re keen for a little break from the crowds outside at the markets, this is the perfect spot for a coffee and cake to recharge your batteries.  

The Cathedral also has a Music Society Choir and Carol Choir Concerts running on 16^th and 17^th and 12^th and 19^th, respectively.  

I can sniff out an Edinburgh Woollen Mill anywhere, me.  

If you have children or, if you’re like me and just love animals, you can pay a visit to Chester Zoo and join in the fun there.  Or, you can indulge in Even More Shopping at Cheshire Oaks which, incidentally, boasts the biggest Christmas tree on earth.   Also, you can actually go inside the tree (I’m not making this up).   You can also stand on the outside and count the baubles.    There are more than 100,000 of them, so best get there early.  


Suzanne x 

A Very Welsh Christmas

This is our first Christmas as residents of North Wales.  We're actually spending it in Scotland because, well...my family is there and it'd be a bit odd if we stayed in Harlech on our own, wouldn't it?  As a Scot, I'm accustomed to British traditions, which we celebrate with our own twist and I was keen to find out if my Celtic cousins had any of their own interesting takes on the whole Christmas thing.   I wasn't disappointed... 

Jesus wept...imagine this turning up at your door in the dead of night

Mari Lywd - this appears to originate from Southern Wales and involves a horse's skull attached to a pole and hidden beneath a sheet..obviously.   I mean, what else would you do with those three items than take them round the street and terrify your fellow residents? 
  

Tradition dictates that groups of men will wander around the streets, arriving at doors and being turned away by owners.   THB, if someone turned up at my door, dressed in a blanket  and snapping some horse jaws at me I'd be straight on the phone to the Heddlu (Welsh police).      Get back, weirdos!   This is not Sicily; there will be no Mafia nonsense here, diolch yn fawr. 

ouch...

Holly Beating - yeah, it's every bit as weird as it sounds.   On Gwyl San Steffan (Boxing Day, obvs), the male of the species would cut bits of holly from nearby bushes and proceed to sneak around the village and beat the arms and legs of their female servants, or whoever was the last out of bed on Christmas Day.   So, my little sister would be REALLY sore come dinner time.   Mind you, she'd soon leave a trail of dead Welsh boys in her wake, so we'd have to Ebay all our gift vouchers to raise bail money to make sure she could join us for cheese and biscuits.

creepy as

Callenig -  basically, a callenig is an apple.  Sorry, but it's true.  However, this an apple with a difference, as it's decorated. Yay!  It's a muy glamorous apple, adorned with cloves and perched on a stand made of twigs.  TBH, it's the most fancy apple EVER and would not look at all out of place on an episode of Masterchef, served up with a raspberry foam, lime twill and sheep intestine glaze.   Give a callenig to your friends to wish them good crops for next year.   Because everyone needs good crops, right?

I don't get out of bed this early for anyone.

Plygain - basically, the point of this is to get up really early and go to Church.    Now, I consider most Church services as early starters as, you know, Sundays are for hangovers, but the Welsh Plygain tradition really takes the cake.  

In order to adhere to aforementioned tradition, you need to go to Church between 3am and 6am.  I'm not even kidding.   Basically, it sounds like it would be an IDEAL stop on the way back from the pub, if only it served kebabs.    Maybe the tradition would still be going strong if there was some sort of alcohol soaking grub on offer to entice in some homeward bound revellers... 

To be honest, us Scots have our own fair share of wonderfully dotty traditions and that's what makes us so unique.    Stay special, Wales. 

Do you keep up any ancient traditions in your family at Christmas time?

Suzanne x 

The Lazy Girl's Guide to Christmas Stuff

These days, all my posts seem to start with me saying that I'm not a huge Christmas lover.    The whole thing just makes me feel tired.   Also, I'm an introvert and the thought of all the socialising makes me want to hide away in a dark room until, ooh...at least the middle of March.

Oh, I wish it could be Christmas every...well, never actually 

I'm also not a huge fan of any shopping that falls out with my usual jaunts to the charity store in Dolgellau during my lunch break.   At least I kinda know what I'm looking for.   For other people?  Not so much.   Plus, even when I ask, no one seems to give a straight answer.    When asking LT what he might fancy for Christmas, he intimated he might like a new Dyson.    Or maybe a new iPad.   Or maybe a stove for the new house. Basically,  he doesn't know.   And, therefore, neither do I.   

I am more than happy to buy him whatever he wants, provided he just tells me what it is.   AND that I don't have to visit any real shops in order to get it.   I am a great gf, or what?  

These are my lazy girl's tips to surviving Christmas: 

Online Shopping:

Because obviously.   The Internet is the lazy girl's bestest friend in the whole world.   And not just because I can buy all my shoes there without having to try them on.  Oh no.   I can also save myself from the risk of an early myocardial infarction by not having to interact with Actual People in a crowded shopping centre.   Plus, it's way quicker, so I have more time to dedicate to sitting down and stuff.     My favourite shopping destinations are Amazon, Not On The High Street, Toys R Us (I have nephews), and, should I be organised enough, Ebay.   

Online shopping has a few advantages...

Ditch the Cards:

I don't buy 'em.   Once in a while, I feel compelled to visit the card store and pick up some of those personalised cards which tell my sisters how special they are and let my Mum and Dad know that I know they're my Mum and Dad.    Mostly, this is because they keep buying cards for me to tell me what a wonderful daughter/sister I am.    All true, but not really the point.    Cards tend to take up space on various counter tops and they totally need to be lifted so I can undertake my bi-annual dusting of the lounge.   Save on time, money and extra housework by steering clear.   

No.   Just no. 

Wrap Up Your Use of Wrapping Paper:

I hate wrapping paper.   Producing expertly packaged gifts is the skill of someone who has never spent any time with me.   If they did, they'd be horrified by my many years of spending Christmas Eve with a glass of wine, sticky tape stuck in twisted strips to the underside of my dining table, and rolls of glittery, but impossible to cut, paper.    

Nothing makes me feel less festive than realising I've sliced* a piece of paper that is *just* too small to fit the box for which it was intended.   Then, I'm forced to cut more awkwardly shaped bits of paper to patch things up and that requires more ripping, more tape and, well.....let's face it, this method is NOT conducive to pretty presents.   

The advent of those massive Santa stocking things, or any kind of bag that either covers up my frankly woeful attempts at enveloping stuff with paper, or means I don't have to do it in the first place, is surely the real definition of a Christmas miracle.    Also, now that I don't do as much wrapping, I find myself choosing weirdly shaped items, safe in the knowledge that I won't have to fight with it at a later date.   Why yes, little nephew person, you CAN have that octopus you had your eye on.   

*ripped 

it's no wonder I drink

Christmas Trees:

Oh, Good Lord, don't even get me started.   The mess, the whole attic retrieval farce, the effort to make sure it's all evenly decorated and pretty, and then the inevitable kick in the chops that is plugging in the lights to find out that they're now officially darks.    Last year, I plonked the tree in the corner, threw some tinsel in the general direction of the front and declared it Finished.  I mean, who the hell's looking at the back of a tree that's against a wall?  No-one, that's who.     

This year, I've managed to cunningly leave our Christmas tree in Scotland because it didn't really make the list of the essentials we needed to ship to Wales in the middle of May.   Mind you, if we'd moved in November, it still wouldn't have made my list.    At least now I can finally get my way and not put up a tree that I only want to take down again the very next day without upsetting LT.    Result.   

damn you, fairy lights...

Do you have any tips for getting through Christmas by making as little effort as humanly possible?  Or are you one of those people who just loves this time of year?  

Suzanne x

The Best Christmas Movies For People Who Don't Like Christmas Movies

I'm not a huge fan of Christmas.   I'm not even a small fan, come to think of it.  The mere thought of all the work involved in prepping and cooking food, buying gifts, decorating houses, and fulfilling obligations by attending parties I don't really want to go to just isn't for me.   However, I love spending time with my family,  and I enjoy buying noisy presents for my three nephews, which I then leave my sister to deal with for the rest of the year.   I'm evil like that.

I find it quite difficult to get into the whole Christmas mood because I'm not really that way inclined.  I hate Christmas music and seeing decorations EVERYWHERE I go from November 1st onwards.    I do, however, quite enjoy Christmas TV.   I particularly enjoy all those roundup programmes and, this year, I'm excited as Sherlock and Luther are coming back on.  I think that's more a matter of timing, rather than them having any real Christmassy themes.  A bit of drama and murder really encapsulates the whole spirit of the holidays, don't you think?  No?  OK, just for me, then.

In saying all this, I do *try* to join in the fun.   I don't just sit in the corner in the dark, rocking on my chair and muttering 'bah humbug' at everyone.   Although, that does absolutely sound like something I could really excel at.    Anyway, in the hope of gearing myself up for the whole silly season, these are the not very Christmassy Christmas movies I'll be switching on in December:

wake me up when it's all over

Die Hard:

This is a movie that I can really get into around the festive period.    I love a bit of death and destruction, and who doesn't want to watch Bruce Willis and Alan Rickman battle it out against each other in a half built tower in the middle of L.A with a stash of guns and a bag of explosives?   Nothing fills me with sprit of the season quite like the sight of a shoeless John Maclean in his pristine white vest.        

Gremlins:

Again, this is set at Christmas and it's got some snow and stuff in it, so it absolutely makes it into my end of year movie watching schedule.  The sight of evil green beasties getting drunk in a bar and singing along to songs from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs is just an added bonus.  It makes me laugh every single time.    What could possibly be more festive than monsters driving snow ploughs through people's houses or fighting off a rogue Gremlin that's been hiding in your Christmas tree?  Nothing, that's what.

Lethal Weapon:

Another brilliant movie that just happens to be set around the Christmas period and doesn't involve any mushy nonsense.  Result!  The first in the LW instalments involves nothing but good old fashioned shoot 'em ups, loose cannon cops, and some really mean bad guys.   What's not to love?   

stick 'em up!

Trading Places:

Should you be in need of some cheering up around the holidays, this is the movie for you.   If you don't need cheering up, this is the still the movie for you.   It doesn't have much shooting in it, but it does have greedy, horrible traders (is there any other kind?), a kind hearted prostitute, and two hysterically funny characters in Eddie Murphy's portrayal of Billy Ray Valentine and Dan Akroyd's Louis Winthorpe, trying to survive in each other's worlds.   

Black Christmas:
This movie is best viewed from behind a cushion, with a large glass of wine served in a plastic cup with a lid.   You don't want to smash a good glass when you knock over your drink during one of the creepy bits, do you?   Also, I don't like wasting wine because Lord knows I need it to get through Christmas.     

I'd advise you to steer clear of the 2006 version of this movie and stick with the original 1974 film.   It combines all my favourite things about Christmas:  dodgy phone calls, creepy blokes hiding in your attic, and the grisly murders of stupid sorority girls.    Merry Christmas, bitches!


What is your favourite non Christmassy Christmas movie?

Don't go out alone...

Suzanne x