Tuesday, December 08, 2015

The Lazy Girl's Guide to Christmas Stuff

These days, all my posts seem to start with me saying that I'm not a huge Christmas lover.    The whole thing just makes me feel tired.   Also, I'm an introvert and the thought of all the socialising makes me want to hide away in a dark room until, ooh...at least the middle of March.

Oh, I wish it could be Christmas every...well, never actually 
I'm also not a huge fan of any shopping that falls out with my usual jaunts to the charity store in Dolgellau during my lunch break.   At least I kinda know what I'm looking for.   For other people?  Not so much.   Plus, even when I ask, no one seems to give a straight answer.    When asking LT what he might fancy for Christmas, he intimated he might like a new Dyson.    Or maybe a new iPad.   Or maybe a stove for the new house. Basically,  he doesn't know.   And, therefore, neither do I.   

I am more than happy to buy him whatever he wants, provided he just tells me what it is.   AND that I don't have to visit any real shops in order to get it.   I am a great gf, or what?  

These are my lazy girl's tips to surviving Christmas: 

Online Shopping:
Because obviously.   The Internet is the lazy girl's bestest friend in the whole world.   And not just because I can buy all my shoes there without having to try them on.  Oh no.   I can also save myself from the risk of an early myocardial infarction by not having to interact with Actual People in a crowded shopping centre.   Plus, it's way quicker, so I have more time to dedicate to sitting down and stuff.     My favourite shopping destinations are Amazon, Not On The High Street, Toys R Us (I have nephews), and, should I be organised enough, Ebay.   

online shopping
Online shopping has a few advantages...
Ditch the Cards:
I don't buy 'em.   Once in a while, I feel compelled to visit the card store and pick up some of those personalised cards which tell my sisters how special they are and let my Mum and Dad know that I know they're my Mum and Dad.    Mostly, this is because they keep buying cards for me to tell me what a wonderful daughter/sister I am.    All true, but not really the point.    Cards tend to take up space on various counter tops and they totally need to be lifted so I can undertake my bi-annual dusting of the lounge.   Save on time, money and extra housework by steering clear.   

christmas cards
No.   Just no. 
Wrap Up Your Use of Wrapping Paper:
I hate wrapping paper.   Producing expertly packaged gifts is the skill of someone who has never spent any time with me.   If they did, they'd be horrified by my many years of spending Christmas Eve with a glass of wine, sticky tape stuck in twisted strips to the underside of my dining table, and rolls of glittery, but impossible to cut, paper.    

Nothing makes me feel less festive than realising I've sliced* a piece of paper that is *just* too small to fit the box for which it was intended.   Then, I'm forced to cut more awkwardly shaped bits of paper to patch things up and that requires more ripping, more tape and, well.....let's face it, this method is NOT conducive to pretty presents.   

The advent of those massive Santa stocking things, or any kind of bag that either covers up my frankly woeful attempts at enveloping stuff with paper, or means I don't have to do it in the first place, is surely the real definition of a Christmas miracle.    Also, now that I don't do as much wrapping, I find myself choosing weirdly shaped items, safe in the knowledge that I won't have to fight with it at a later date.   Why yes, little nephew person, you CAN have that octopus you had your eye on.   

wrapping paper
it's no wonder I drink
Christmas Trees:
Oh, Good Lord, don't even get me started.   The mess, the whole attic retrieval farce, the effort to make sure it's all evenly decorated and pretty, and then the inevitable kick in the chops that is plugging in the lights to find out that they're now officially darks.    Last year, I plonked the tree in the corner, threw some tinsel in the general direction of the front and declared it Finished.  I mean, who the hell's looking at the back of a tree that's against a wall?  No-one, that's who.     

This year, I've managed to cunningly leave our Christmas tree in Scotland because it didn't really make the list of the essentials we needed to ship to Wales in the middle of May.   Mind you, if we'd moved in November, it still wouldn't have made my list.    At least now I can finally get my way and not put up a tree that I only want to take down again the very next day without upsetting LT.    Result.   

fairly lights
damn you, fairy lights...
Do you have any tips for getting through Christmas by making as little effort as humanly possible?  Or are you one of those people who just loves this time of year?  

Suzanne x

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