Sunday, December 06, 2015

The Best Christmas Movies For People Who Don't Like Christmas Movies

I'm not a huge fan of Christmas.   I'm not even a small fan, come to think of it.  The mere thought of all the work involved in prepping and cooking food, buying gifts, decorating houses, and fulfilling obligations by attending parties I don't really want to go to just isn't for me.   However, I love spending time with my family,  and I enjoy buying noisy presents for my three nephews, which I then leave my sister to deal with for the rest of the year.   I'm evil like that.

I find it quite difficult to get into the whole Christmas mood because I'm not really that way inclined.  I hate Christmas music and seeing decorations EVERYWHERE I go from November 1st onwards.    I do, however, quite enjoy Christmas TV.   I particularly enjoy all those roundup programmes and, this year, I'm excited as Sherlock and Luther are coming back on.  I think that's more a matter of timing, rather than them having any real Christmassy themes.  A bit of drama and murder really encapsulates the whole spirit of the holidays, don't you think?  No?  OK, just for me, then.

In saying all this, I do *try* to join in the fun.   I don't just sit in the corner in the dark, rocking on my chair and muttering 'bah humbug' at everyone.   Although, that does absolutely sound like something I could really excel at.    Anyway, in the hope of gearing myself up for the whole silly season, these are the not very Christmassy Christmas movies I'll be switching on in December:


Christmas Dog
wake me up when it's all over
Die Hard:
This is a movie that I can really get into around the festive period.    I love a bit of death and destruction, and who doesn't want to watch Bruce Willis and Alan Rickman battle it out against each other in a half built tower in the middle of L.A with a stash of guns and a bag of explosives?   Nothing fills me with sprit of the season quite like the sight of a shoeless John Maclean in his pristine white vest.        

Gremlins:
Again, this is set at Christmas and it's got some snow and stuff in it, so it absolutely makes it into my end of year movie watching schedule.  The sight of evil green beasties getting drunk in a bar and singing along to songs from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs is just an added bonus.  It makes me laugh every single time.    What could possibly be more festive than monsters driving snow ploughs through people's houses or fighting off a rogue Gremlin that's been hiding in your Christmas tree?  Nothing, that's what.

Lethal Weapon:
Another brilliant movie that just happens to be set around the Christmas period and doesn't involve any mushy nonsense.  Result!  The first in the LW instalments involves nothing but good old fashioned shoot 'em ups, loose cannon cops, and some really mean bad guys.   What's not to love?   

gun
stick 'em up!
Trading Places:
Should you be in need of some cheering up around the holidays, this is the movie for you.   If you don't need cheering up, this is the still the movie for you.   It doesn't have much shooting in it, but it does have greedy, horrible traders (is there any other kind?), a kind hearted prostitute, and two hysterically funny characters in Eddie Murphy's portrayal of Billy Ray Valentine and Dan Akroyd's Louis Winthorpe, trying to survive in each other's worlds.   

Black Christmas:
This movie is best viewed from behind a cushion, with a large glass of wine served in a plastic cup with a lid.   You don't want to smash a good glass when you knock over your drink during one of the creepy bits, do you?   Also, I don't like wasting wine because Lord knows I need it to get through Christmas.     

I'd advise you to steer clear of the 2006 version of this movie and stick with the original 1974 film.   It combines all my favourite things about Christmas:  dodgy phone calls, creepy blokes hiding in your attic, and the grisly murders of stupid sorority girls.    Merry Christmas, bitches!


What is your favourite non Christmassy Christmas movie?

spooky graveyard
Don't go out alone...

Suzanne x